It's our turn again this week to be the hosts of the 100 word challenge. Thank you to all of the pupils who have left comments. I hope that you enjoy this weeks writing.
88 Comments
Jamie, Oliver and Alfie
3/17/2014 12:56:27 am
The boy who went missing
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Kirk
3/20/2014 05:45:02 am
I like your blog it is scary and fun at the same time you very specific
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4/1/2014 11:20:09 pm
I loved this piece of writing and how desciriptive it is.
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jack w
4/1/2014 11:25:52 pm
i like how that there gooing into a factory to get a ball and strang things start happining i woud be scered if that was me i would probably run out without the ball but for the title the boy who went missing could be ubderlined
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aidan
4/1/2014 11:46:01 pm
great work i love your work
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Molly P and Angel
3/17/2014 12:57:16 am
Dad!
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Beth 6DC
3/18/2014 07:03:39 pm
Hi Molly and angel, this is Beth. I really liked your 100wc, I thought it was amazing! My favourite part was when Ebony's dad came home because it is really happy. Next time you could say who was crying as it sounds like Hannah is crying too, overall it was excellent!
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4/1/2014 11:23:37 pm
I like your piece of writing!
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Beth and Niamh
3/17/2014 12:57:44 am
Dear diary,
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Dear Beth and Niamh,
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Curtis Tanfield
4/1/2014 11:14:24 pm
I love this i think that you took your time so it worked off you could looking up insted of i looked up that is the only thing are you going to the sleep oveR? I CANT WAIT
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Amber&Cameron(6DC)
3/17/2014 12:58:59 am
One dark and breezy night I was walking home from the supermarket when suddenly there was a blackout around me. I was with my bestfriend James. I pointed and screamed,"LOOK UP! CAN YOU SEE those spooky luminous eyes glowing." My fingers stayed strong as we sprinted across the road. We eventually got back from the shops, and rememberd our mams went to Scottland for the weekend. We tried our grandma but she was out... We had no choice but to go to Katie's for the night. Our parents never came back from Scottland that Monday.
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Kirk
3/20/2014 05:40:29 am
I really like your blog it was a cliff hanger
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Olivia (6cs)
3/20/2014 07:34:53 am
Good use of vocabulary. Next time use more punctuation in your text to make it more better. Apart from that brilliant work.
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jodie (tanfield)
4/1/2014 11:18:29 pm
Amber and Cameron I love the cliff hanger at the end it made me have gose bumps. It is very scary! I love the puncuation but you started to many sentenses with we but as well as that it was brilliant! well done.
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Callum Lewis and Liam
3/17/2014 01:00:55 am
There was a crazy scientist working in his huge lab. He was working years on end on this incredible robot. Finally the scientist finished the sensational design. Later he charged his robot , moreover turned it on. The machine stood up and smashed straight trough the wall! He shot up into the sky and travelled to the city. A minute boy shouted " look up! Can you see the robot ? " THe robot was a phenomenal silver colour. There was tons of police in the street, the robot was staring at them suspiciously. One of the policemen shot it ...
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Reece
3/18/2014 07:06:49 pm
What an amazing story you have created with all the phenomenal vocabulary it is such amazing but next time try reading through it to check if you have got the right spelling
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Alicia and Hannah' s 100WC
3/17/2014 07:12:34 pm
Lily had a sleepover and invited (her best friend) Jade, Georgia, Katie, Rebecca and Tia. She also invited her sister Chloe. They decided to go outside and play apple bobbing, whilst listening to music. The boys next door were playing football, when the ball went high up in the air, they couldn't see it. The girls didn't see the ball, they didn't even know that it was in the air. "Look up! Can't you see the ball?" The boys yelled. Jade's turn came and she dunked her head, the ball came down and hit the back of jades head. Her knees slipped; and her head began to blend.
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Olivia and Leah 6cs
3/17/2014 07:16:44 pm
Watch out!
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Amber(6DC)
3/18/2014 06:05:42 pm
Olivia and Leah I really like your 100WC I think you have tried hard this week so keep up
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Angel
3/18/2014 07:03:32 pm
Wow!What a scare you gave me ! I really enjoyed that we'll done I don't think you need to add eny thing else .
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Hannah
3/18/2014 07:06:41 pm
I really enjoyed reading your 100WC I hope you rite a new one
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Gina
3/18/2014 07:06:49 pm
I really liked how you have used the word sinister in your text.Next time you could try to use a range of connectives.
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Abbie from Tanfield
4/1/2014 11:13:24 pm
I love your 100 wc its very clear and very detailed. I love the part when the trails of red roses led to the main hall I could just imagine that!
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Rose T.L.C.P.S
4/1/2014 11:24:19 pm
Hi Olivia and Leah,
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caitlin (tanfield lea, year 6)
4/1/2014 11:46:53 pm
Hello,
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Abbie & Brooklyn & Liam
3/17/2014 07:30:25 pm
Look up. Can you see that cloud shaped like a bird and the sky as blue as oceans?
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Liam (6DC)
3/18/2014 07:05:38 pm
It was good and I like the part wen you put " good by day hello night"
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Niamh
3/18/2014 07:07:21 pm
Brooklyn, Abbie and Liam I like you 100 wc.
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Beth 6DC
3/18/2014 07:08:26 pm
Hi Abbie, Brooklyn and Liam, this is Beth. I really liked your 100wc, I thought is was great. I think it is amazing how you describe the setting! It is Phenomenal!
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Dear Abbie, Brooklyn, and Liam
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Sophie and Keegan
3/18/2014 12:21:33 am
Look up! Can you see?
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Holly 6DC
3/18/2014 07:04:57 pm
I really like this 100 word challenge because you have used phenomenal describing words and how you said "right here for me to see, but what can you see
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Molly P
3/18/2014 07:06:21 pm
Hi, this is an amazing 100 word challenge Sophie and Keegan. I like how you have describe every thing in the air. The only thing I don't like is the last two lines because I doesn't sound quite right with the same last letter. Other than that it is an amazing 100 word challenge.
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Harvey
3/18/2014 07:07:57 pm
I really liked your 100wc it was really good. My favourite kind of poems are the ones were they don't rhyme! I love the rhetorical question at the end!
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Lewis
3/18/2014 07:08:36 pm
I really like the adjectives next time I am really looking forward to your next one
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Jonathon and David
3/18/2014 12:22:08 am
"Look." "Can you see it?" shouted Bob. A huge, brown, ball of fire sped out of the sky towards the park.
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Ryan T
3/18/2014 07:05:25 pm
I really liked how you used suspense next time try to use ellipses.
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Emilia
3/18/2014 07:07:36 pm
Well done Jonathon and David I really like your 100 wc it is amazing I really liked the way you ended it on a question. Next time you should include more connectives other than however, other than that well done!!
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Alex
3/18/2014 07:08:06 pm
I really enjoyed that story mainly because of all the adjectives and I like the cliffhanger at the end and you don't have to change anything
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Harry and Robert
3/18/2014 12:22:37 am
Harry and Robert were playing football when Harry said, "Look up, Can you see that bird?"
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Ryan Turnbull
3/18/2014 07:00:56 pm
I really liked your 100 word challenge.
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Callum 6DC
3/18/2014 07:05:30 pm
Hi, I really like the adjectives and the ending ,but next time can you include more connectives.
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Jamie
3/18/2014 07:06:14 pm
I really enjoyed your 100 word challenge. I really liked the part were Robert runs to get his camera and all of a sudden the bird is in Harry's hand. You have also used some good punctuation.
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Oliver 6DC
3/18/2014 07:07:10 pm
I really liked how you used speech marks. Next time you could use more connectives.
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Molly P
3/18/2014 07:08:15 pm
Well Done Harry and Robert, I really like you 100wc because I think you have been really creative. Next time try to use more adjectives. Other than that it is a great 100wc.
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micah
4/1/2014 11:21:00 pm
i love your blog my wish to you is to see more next time it was fantastic to her i love your speech mark and your capital leters.
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drew
4/1/2014 11:21:20 pm
well done
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adam
4/1/2014 11:21:40 pm
good job
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sky (Tanfiels Lea)
4/1/2014 11:26:34 pm
Hi, that is amazing and I love it so much, I wish that I could do 100WC like you,
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Dear Harry and Robert,
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Paige and Samantha
3/18/2014 12:23:12 am
Our 100wc
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Amber(6DC)
3/18/2014 07:03:53 pm
Paige and Samantha I really like your 100WC. I really like it how you have included lots of fantastic words like phenomenal, clashing you have tried really well this week so keep it up.
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Kieron and Hasan
3/18/2014 12:39:53 am
Look up! Can you see? The yellow ball heading toward us. It's mammoth size bigger than earth. What could it be? It's a furious fire ball, not like any other. It's spreading in to pieces like little particles."shouted Jim.All of a sudden it was rushing towards us.We were petrified. We had no idea what to do. Then a wailing siren was heard. Everybody had to run to their cellars to take shelter. It was vital nobody went out there. Suddenly the ground started to shake and then it suddenly stopped. We were safe. Nothing had happened. I woke up. It was a dream
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Lewis
3/18/2014 07:04:00 pm
I really like all of the action. But next time can you add adjaticts
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Ryan Turnbull
3/18/2014 07:07:00 pm
I really like your 100 word challenge.
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Elisha and Adam
3/18/2014 12:40:43 am
Debbie and James were at the seaside and decided to make a huge sand castle.
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Gina
3/18/2014 07:01:33 pm
I really liked how you have used a range of adjectives.Next time you could try to use some different openers so that your writing is even better.
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Ellie
3/18/2014 07:05:03 pm
Hiya I really liked this 100 word challenge it was really good. I really like how you used a lot of vocabulary. I liked reading this it was amazing.
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Alicia
3/18/2014 07:07:30 pm
I really liked your story. Next time I think that, instead of using words such as huge you could use giant or enormous.
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Alisa and Ryan
3/18/2014 12:41:21 am
Look up! Can you see? A shooting star swooshing from the dark blue sky. " let's have a look!" shouted Oliver. It's a meteor with dots of red. The meteor smashed open and what was inside? "Alien !" shouted jill.The alien stumbled up and squeaked ,"Who are you?" We stared a while at the slimy green figure shaped like a tiny man with a ballon shaped head.We answered"We are humans Oliver and Jill" answered Oliver.The alien blinked and moved to his space ship.The tiny alien stepped slowly in his space ship and quickly zoomed away.
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Reece
3/18/2014 07:02:15 pm
Wow,I really like how you have started the first part of your amazing story!also I like how you have described the little alien for example:ballon shaped head what a fantastic way how to describe it well done!next time try to think of a little more adventurous vocabulary such as: hazardous.
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Kristen (Tanfield Lea)
4/1/2014 11:16:22 pm
I loved reading your 100 word challenge! You used lots of ajectives and adverbs and loads more! When I was reading youre story and I thought it was about a Sci-Fi story or something like that!
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Leah B Tanfield Lea
4/1/2014 11:23:23 pm
Hi Alisa and Ryan I really like your 100wc because it uses lots of describing words and also has a variety of punctuation!
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Cailen Tanfield Lea
4/1/2014 11:25:52 pm
Hi,
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Ryan S tanfield
4/1/2014 11:26:42 pm
I like how you have a range of punction. I like how you use a cliff hanger. At the start you need inverted commas (speech marks).
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John (Tanfield year 6)
4/1/2014 11:39:26 pm
I like the WOW words you have used like smashed, slimy, swooshing. I like your exclamation mark
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4/1/2014 11:47:01 pm
i like all of your work and video and i realy like all of your pants of when nick sharat came to meet you looking forward to meeting you on friday
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AuthorWe are Year 6 at Brandon Primary School in County Durham. We are using this blog to extend our creative writing skills, and to demonstrate to a wider audience how fabulous we are! Archives
March 2014
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