This week it is our turn to write our 100 word challenges. Please comment on how we have got on. You could write 1 thing that we have done well, and 1 thing that we could improve next time. We look forward to reading your comments!
Reece and Alfie
2/23/2014 10:29:29 pm
What's pushing through the earth?
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Sky (From Tanfield Lea)
2/24/2014 09:47:31 pm
Hi my name is Sky,
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Ellie and Holly
2/23/2014 10:31:48 pm
One day Bobby was walking in the market at Hampton because he was looking for someone to buy his little brother. Eventually he thought he passed an elderly man in the park,but it wasn't an ordinary man,it was a troll ! Bobby asked if he new anyone who would want to buy his little brother. The troll exclaimed he would trade him for his magic roses. Bobby agreed ! When he got home he planted the roses in his garden then he went upstairs and got into bed. In the morning there was a flight of stairs pushing through the earth,suddenly Bobby vanished...
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Kristen (From Tanfield Lea)
2/24/2014 09:44:24 pm
Hi im Kristen and i love your 100 wc!
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Holly
3/2/2014 09:44:31 pm
Thanks for the comment we realise now how we could make it better and we did put a title but it just disappeared and it's weird because the title was the magic roses
Miss Scott
3/17/2014 07:21:16 pm
This is a very imaginative story. I have to say I'm pleased Bobby disappeared. He's not a very nice person, if he sold his brother to a troll.
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Molly p and Angel
2/23/2014 10:41:31 pm
24.2.14
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Hi I'm Logan,
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Angel
3/2/2014 09:51:04 pm
Hi thanks Logan amazing comment
Molly P
3/2/2014 09:41:27 pm
Thanks Hallie and Logan for commenting on our 100wc.
Jamie and Oliver
2/23/2014 10:46:31 pm
What is it?
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2/24/2014 09:39:36 pm
Hi I'm Lara ,
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Jamie
3/2/2014 09:43:07 pm
Thank you for your reply. I'm really glad you enjoyed our report. A B and B is a hotel.
Olivia and Leah 6CS
2/23/2014 10:47:50 pm
The Skull
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Leah B
2/24/2014 09:40:02 pm
Hi my name is Leah and I really like your story because it sounds really dramatic.
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Olivia
2/25/2014 02:40:06 am
Ok thank you Laura I'll take your advice
Beth And Niamh
2/23/2014 10:48:36 pm
Out-standing Book Released
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Rose
2/24/2014 09:40:32 pm
Hi! I'm Rose this story sounds really grusome and scary! I checked your story numerous times and could not pick out any mistakes! So I've decided to make an improvement that would really boost the excitement of this advert.How about adding an explanation mark your advert deserves it somewhere because I didn't think it was boring! looking forward to the sleep over. Maybe I could get to know you more.
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Beth
2/25/2014 10:38:52 pm
Can't wait until the sleepover either. Thanks for your comment, me and Niamh will think about the improvement!
Hi, my name is Hallie and this is a very cool blog. I like how you made it like a book review. It sounds like "horror loving teens", as you quoted, would really enjoy it. I read it and the only errors I could spot were just a few spelling errors and quotations, but great job. And, do you guys really want to be authors and write a book like that when you grow up?
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Beth
3/2/2014 09:42:25 pm
Hi Hallie this is Beth. Thank you for that lovely comment, yes I would like to be an author when I grow up as well as an actress!
Amber(6DC)
3/2/2014 09:47:09 pm
Thanks for your comment we will try to include those things next time it would be nice to see you at the sleepover
Amber&Emilia(6DC)
2/23/2014 10:49:29 pm
The night was dark and windy. The supermarket was on its last legs. The man(Gary) was rushing quickly around the aisles grabbing his groceries. He came out of the shop and looked up into the gloomy air. There was something mysteriously glowing in the moonlight. Suddenly the ground started to shake as Gary's bags split. This green/yellowy hand was pushing through the earth. Gary touched the enigmatic hand. It seemed a bit unnatural. Later that day he went to the doctors, the doctors said he had an unusual disease. He was worried. He went back to the doctors and he said Gary might die ...
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Cailen from Tanfield Lea
2/24/2014 09:40:53 pm
Wow! your 100 word challenge is really good you have some adverbs such as Quickly,Suddenly and Windy.
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Emilia (6DC)
3/2/2014 09:41:27 pm
Thanks Cailen next time I think we should have used more connectives.
Hi Emilia and Amber, my name is Hallie and this is an interesting blog. It was a very intense story line. I liked the part how his grocery bags split. All you need to edit is just use a few more capitals and just add a couple more commas. But, great job and keep up the good work.
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Adam from year 6 at Tanfield
4/1/2014 11:23:51 pm
WOW this is an amazing 100 word challenge. I like the variety of adjectives you have used in your sentances.
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Paige and Samantha
2/23/2014 10:49:48 pm
Our 100wc
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Adam (Year 6 at tanfield)
2/24/2014 09:41:13 pm
Hi I'm Adam from Tanfield Lea Primary School.
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Sophie and Keegan
2/23/2014 10:49:48 pm
Pushing through the earth
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Molly and Ryan
2/23/2014 10:51:58 pm
The digger is ferociously pushing through the earth. The hole is ten metres down and three foot wide. Without warning the digger started to sink into the slimy mud so the workers had to stop the operation. The people gloomily had to leave the machine behind. Then some ridiculous children decided to be silly and they fell down the hole and injured themselves. A few minutes later the ambulance people and police officers came and surrounded the hole. Six brave men pulled the youths out of the deep hole. The ambulance people took them to hospital and they were fine.
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Drew (Y6 at Tanfield)
2/24/2014 09:41:38 pm
Hi I'm Drew.
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Drew (6T at Tanfield Lea)
4/1/2014 11:24:03 pm
Hi I'm Drew.
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Abbie Peters, Brooklyn Sams and Liam Aitchison
2/23/2014 10:54:17 pm
As an echoing drill was pushing through the earth, I thought of the harmless creatures. Where do they go? The worms independently wiggle peacefully through the wet, soft soil. Beetles crawl deep down, their solid backs rub against the moist earth. The moles make a circular shape in the fresh, green grass. Where would they go? Their claws rub deep in the ground to make their homes. A microscopic ant would just crawl down deeper to keep safe. If people continue to ruin animal habitats the animal population will decrease substantially.
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Micah
2/24/2014 09:41:56 pm
I love your story you have pefect punctuation in your story good capitals for the start of a new sentence my first wish to you is to her more and my second wish is is to abbie never put your surename for your e saft.
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Jonathon and David
3/17/2014 07:15:26 pm
I really like your 100WC you have been very imaginative. Well Done!
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Brandon and Jack
2/23/2014 10:54:55 pm
The air was pushing through the leaves,as I travelled deep underground. I hurt my paws of a sharp rock in the way of my track. I was pushing through in the earth like a super sonic drill. The world was shaking as I got tired. When I reached the surface, I was blind sighted by the bite of a snake. Someone helped me and I was scared and attempted to run away but I couldn't feel my legs. Eventually I gained my strength and ran for my life.
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Aidan Tanfield lea
2/24/2014 09:44:06 pm
Hi. I am Aidan. My favourite sentence is I "was blind sighted by the bite of a snake."
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Harry and Robert
2/23/2014 10:56:59 pm
Yesterday my friend Barry and I were pushing through the earth trying to make an army trench when we saw an emerald green light. We both hurried inside to tell my mam.
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Matthew from tanfield
2/24/2014 09:42:43 pm
Hi Guys,
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Ryan and Cameron
2/23/2014 10:58:12 pm
Dear diary,
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Emma (from Tanfeild Lea)
2/24/2014 09:38:41 pm
Hi I'm Emma.
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Ryan S
2/24/2014 09:54:19 pm
Hi I am Ryan.I like how it's dairy entry. I really like the word gloomy, scent and infected. insted of an elpised you could have put qustion mark.
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Ryan Turnbull
3/2/2014 09:46:01 pm
Thanks! Next time I will use a question mark.
Leah B from tanfield
3/31/2014 07:40:46 am
Hi it's me Leah B and I really like your 100 word challenge I love the describing words you used and how you told us what kind of bike it was instead of saying a bike, which is quite boring.
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Jamie and Oliver
2/23/2014 10:58:18 pm
What is it?
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Caitlin (from Tanfield lea)
2/24/2014 09:43:01 pm
Hello i am Caitlin.
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Oliver 6dc
3/2/2014 09:49:15 pm
Hi Caitlin I am Oliver thank you for your comment it was a newspaper article but those openers will really help me thank you.
Hannah and Alicia (6DC)
2/23/2014 11:00:20 pm
The misterious green mist
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Leah P from Tanfield Lea
2/24/2014 09:40:21 pm
Hi I'm Leah. Wow a really exciting story Hannah and Alicia! I hope you will be making a sequal to 'The Mysterious Green Mist' for it is truly amazing! My favourtite bit is the part where Sarah and Romini-rai discover the ailen. However, as I was biting my nails while reading this fantastic story, I found some errors - 'misterious' is spelt 'mysterious' and also you have missed a few words, for example, one sentence says 'However, a gust of wind appeared, a screeching siren wailed and.' And what? Clearly you were so eager to get to the best bit, you forgot some words! Keep up the good work! Best wishes, Leah. P.S. Are you going to the sleepover?
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Alicia
3/2/2014 09:46:22 pm
Thanks, I don't know if I am going to the sleep over I properly am though.
Alicia
3/2/2014 09:47:42 pm
Thanks for letting me know about the missing word.
Alicia
3/2/2014 09:44:53 pm
I am not really sure do you have one in mind?
Hannah
3/2/2014 09:50:49 pm
Hi Leah thank you for reading my 100wc
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2/23/2014 11:01:39 pm
"Joe, are you ready? You've been in there for almost an hour," said Olivia. As Joe came out of the bathroom, over the field she heard a unusual thump which seamed to be pushing through the earth. They quickly sprinted over to the green grass. As they took little steps forward, the mysterious noise seemed to get louder until they slipped and fell deep deep down into what seemed to be a different dimension. As Olivia got up, her brother and her were tied up to a pole. Later on, they were reported missing! Where could they be?
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Ryan T and Alex
2/23/2014 11:04:24 pm
The night before it happened
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Lucy From Tanfeild Lea Community Primary School.
2/24/2014 09:38:25 pm
Hi its Lucy, I have just read your 100 Word challange it is realy good! I like how you have started "The night before it happened" it sounds like it makes me want to read more, it also makes me drawnin! I like how you have used ... and also the whole story is verry good! I think it would be even better if you started some sentences ( the ones that you have started with THE) apart from that the story is real good and i enjoyed reading this!
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Alex sloan
3/2/2014 09:47:54 pm
Thanks for that good reply
Kieron and Hasan
2/23/2014 11:10:22 pm
I was slowly digging through the earth, pushing down deep through the undergrowth. I was making a tunnel from one place to the other for a road. The smell of the sewers drifted through the tunnel, as I pushed away the earth. Sometimes the earth crashed behind me, but I drove straight out to clear the rubble. Digging through, curving, finally we made if to the other side. So now I had to make plenty of space. We started to out down the roads and the lights in the tunnel. Finally the roads were laid and the tunnel was complete.
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Alyssa (Year 6, Tanfield Juniors)
2/24/2014 09:38:33 pm
Hi, Kieron and Hasan. It's Alyssa from Tanfield Primary. I read your 100 word challenge and, to be honest, was very impressed! From the very first sentence it drew me in and I couldn't wait to read more. Amazing choice of adjectives. Do you think you could add an exclamation mark in? I loved how you used the sentence opener 'digging through'.
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Robert6CS
3/17/2014 07:21:09 pm
I like your idea of being a builder building a tunnel. Very good imagination. Well done.
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Jonathon and David
2/23/2014 11:21:12 pm
As I speedily scurried through my huge underground house, I found a scrumptious meal. Six worms were squirming furiously through the dirt. Immediately, I started pushing through the earth to reach my dinner. When I reached them, I greedily ate them all. Suddenly, I heard the scurry of paws. I started to run. The sound grew louder and louder and louder. Then out of the darkness came a small figure. It was a mole I had never seen before. After a small fight, the intruder retreated and I went back out to dig.
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Abbie ( Year6, Tanfield Lea)
2/24/2014 09:38:54 pm
Jonathon and David I love your work, especially the part when the intruder retreated very good choice of adjectives. The openers are well chosen and the description giving about the six worms squriming furiously is very interesting. I only have one question. Is the main character a human or an animal? Apart from that I love your work you have clearly put a lot of effort into it.
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Pushing through the earth.....
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Lucy from tanfeild
2/24/2014 09:45:19 pm
Hi Harvey its lucy! I liked how you have started and then used ..... ! This 100 word challange is well put together and i realy enjoyed looking at your text! I persanely think that in the second like Albus Dumbledore, headmaster of Hogwarts, was with them you dont need to add a commer so far to the end of the sentance ut apart from that it is a verry nice story and I realy enjoyed it!
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Harvey
3/2/2014 09:46:54 pm
Thanks 4 the tips Lucy I will do that in my next piece of work. C u all in April at the sleepover ;)
Harry6CS
3/17/2014 07:17:12 pm
I really like your idea of Harry Potter. You have used amazing vocabulary and sentence structure. We'll done.
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Sophie
4/9/2014 11:36:41 am
Ilike your blog I am a big fan of harry potter Iike how you used all the same people from the movies.
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Callum, Liam and Lewis
2/24/2014 05:17:16 pm
Pushing through the earth. Today the 30th July a massive crater was discovered in East Africa.
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Mr Kilcoyne (Team 100WC)
2/28/2014 01:33:49 am
Hi Reece and Alfie.
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Reece
3/2/2014 09:51:41 pm
Thank you for your replay you have encouraged me to work hard thank you
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reece
3/13/2014 09:21:52 pm
murder
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Sophie 6cs
3/17/2014 07:18:56 pm
Very gruesome Reece also good cliff hanger but next time try to check your spelling e.g whem only bad thing though so we'll done Reece
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Hasan
3/17/2014 07:18:37 pm
Look up! Can you see? The yellow ball heading toward us. It's mammoth size bigger than earth. What could it be? It's a furious fire ball, not like any other. It's spreading in to pieces like little particles."shouted Jim.All of a sudden it was rushing towards us.We were petrified. We had no idea what to do. Then a wailing siren was heard. Everybody had to run to their cellars to take shelter. It was vital nobody went out there. Suddenly the ground started to shake and then it suddenly stopped. We were safe. Nothing had happened. I woke up. It was a dream.
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Paige
3/17/2014 07:22:02 pm
Hi everyone I love all of these 100wcs . I think you guys have put a lot of effort into these. I am really pleased, there is a lot of great punctuation and vocabulary basically VCOP. Me and Samantha defiantly put effort into ours and we hope you enjoy it and comment . We are expecting constructive criticism because our work is not perfect but we know you will like it . From Paige .
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Elisha & Adam
3/17/2014 07:24:41 pm
Debbie and James were at the seaside and decided to make a huge sand castle.
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Alise Aldersone and Ryan Chappell
3/17/2014 07:31:08 pm
Look up! Can you see? A shooting star swooshing from the dark blue sky. " let's have a look!" shouted Oliver. It's a meteor with dots of red. The meteor smashed open and what was inside? "Alien !" shouted jill.The alien stumbled up and squeaked ,"Who are you?" We stared a while at the slimy green figure shaped like a tiny man with a ballon shaped head.We answered"We are humans Oliver and Jill" answered Oliver.The alien blinked and moved to his space ship.The tiny alien stepped slowly in his space ship and quickly zoomed away.
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AuthorWe are Year 6 at Brandon Primary School in County Durham. We are using this blog to extend our creative writing skills, and to demonstrate to a wider audience how fabulous we are! Archives
March 2014
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