The shed at the bottom of the garden,
Walls of rotten wood,
Window panes, very dirty
The floor incrusted with dust!
It creaks in the wind,
However the shoes in the window stay deadly still,
The shed sways violently,
And cobwebs coat the window-sill in a blanket of mist!
The door wrestles the fearsome wind to stay closed,
You can faintly see the reflection of the terrace houses,
No light shines in the ancient, ramshackled shed,
But if you look closely through the dust incrusted glass, something is glistening int he corner...
By Molly P.
Lovely imagery Molly! Good vocabulary choices too. Make sure you proof read your work, as it's really easy to make simple mistakes when you are typing!
I love the way you describe the shed.Especially when you say cobwebs coat the window-sill in a blanket of mist.Well done
I really like this because you have just used reall good adventurous vocabulary and creates a bit of mystery aswell !
I really liked the way you didn't make the poem rhyme to give it affect. Moreover it is great how you left it on a cliff hannger, it really made me want to know what it was! Next time you could use some more connectievs and use some more openers, but overall amazing!
good vocabulary and imagery
At the bottom of the garden the shed lurks.The mammouth wimdows are ridden with dust .The ancient shed moans and groans .Neverthless, the window are encased in cracks and cobwebs; screeching in the brisk wind! Suddely, . A there was a flicker of dim light . There was a shadow . A Grammar phone silently played in the darkness...
Some good vocabulary selected for purpose Reece and Alfie! Make sure you proof read your work carefully when you are using a computer!
i relley like all of it because you put good words what make the 100 challenge sound better. but next time can you use nouns.
Brilent use of description and elipcies makes me want to read more.
Our Amazing Shed
At the bottom of my garden there's a shed. However, it is no ordinary shed! Legends have been around for many years about this mysterious building. Many, Many years ago this shed was brand new. It had a fresh, shiny coat of paint, moreover it had squeaky clean windows. Unfortuneately, now the paint is flaking away, the windows are encrusted with dust. Youn can only just make out the reflection of our modern house. By the window, there is a pair of light-pink Ballet Pumps, which once belonged to me. It could disintergrate any moment now!
By Beth H and Niamh T
Good vocabulary selected you two! I like how you compare how it used to be with how it is now!
WOW love your description well done love how you used the word disintigration WOW what a powerful word .Also i love the way you have started yours
Next time try to use better openers please,for instance the opener by the window you could say Morever the on the windows ledge lies a........
Please prof read because you said Youn can only just make out the.....
100 word challenge
It looked like it was about to collapse.Iwalked around the shed to check if it was safe to go in.It groaned,it moaned.I couldn't go in but i had a feeling i should. My bike was in there! I had to go in and be audacious and save my bikefrom being destroyed.Suddenly the glass shattered into thousands of pieces.the wood creaked,the shed swayed. the sounds that it made were menacing! Should i go in now? Abruptly, it fell to the ground. Black smoke rose from the ground, where the shed had once been.
Hannah & Holly
Lovely description, with good vocabulary choices! REMEMBER that I needs a capital letter, and capital letters are needed at the beginning of new sentences!
I think this is a really good 100 word challenge because you used some good vocabulary. I thought the best bit was were you said that black smoke rose from the ground, where the shed had once been.
I liked your description Holly and Hannah. I also liked were you really wont to go in and save your bike.
Just remember to put finger spaces because you for got to put a space between I walked.
I liked your description Holly and Hannah. I also liked where you really want to go in and save your bike
The abandoned shed was sitting alone in the garden.The decaying red paint was starting to crumble.The ruined trainers were sitting on the shelf waiting to be worn. Filthy windows so dirty you can't see through them. The reflection in the windows shows a house, which looks abandoned. Inside the shed there is a rusty ladder that hasnt been used. The roof , which has never been fixed , is starting to disintergrate. The brisk wind was blowing violently and the shed started to shake. This shed will need extra refurbishments from the new owners.
Great description you two! some brilliant vocabulary choices, which help you to build up an image of the shed!
You used some fantastic, obscure vocabulary in your work but you also used commes witch is brilliant!
You have amazing adjectives and description! But for next time can you use a different opener instead of 'The'.
That shed in the garden,
Grandad shaid it's been through alot.
Even before Hitler was shot!
It's shabby, it's scary and its in need of a referbishment.
The peeling paint,
The rotton smell,
The cacks in the window,
Its all horrifying.
But since the first time I came I have had my eys on the shoes
pink painted fontidelli pumps.
Mist in the windows broken tiles on the roof
webs hanging down,
the roof soon to cave in
unknown shadowy figures inside
but wonder who?
A good poem you two. Don't forget to check your punctuation, and on every new line there needs to be a capital letter!
Thats really really REALLY good!!!!! Ilove the part were you said
"Grandad said its been through alot,
Even before hitler was shot!!!!"
I wish mine was as good as that!
thanks harvy im relly glad you like it!
EXELLENT!!! love how you said granda said its been through alot even before Hitler was shot!. Inaddition i also like the way you describe the shed with all of those powerful descibing words .The words that you used just blow the WOW word out off the water well done girls keep it up
Mext time pleas prof read because their was one word that i found that didnt make sense that word is where you said Grandad shaid it been through alot does it make sense? but despite that evreything is class well done girls
you used some of your senses
Down the path is an ancient shed.The shed is a bergundy colour, It had three immeasurable windows.The windows were covered in grey dust. Behind the windows are a pair of innovative pink shoes. It was like they had never been worn.Doors appeared. It looked like they lead somewhere.Maroon ladders were there too, there was mould growing on the ladders.Dust covered the shed like a blanket.Screws came undone and they looked like they were used. A coat hanger was swaying back and forth. A decayed coat was hanging on the coat rack.
Good vocabulary choices Olivia! Next time, try to include more complex sentences, with a range of punctuation!
Thankyou miss Chapman I'll use it next time.
The brisk wind entered the miniture crack in the window. In the shed there are some new trainers. The wood, which is starting to rott, looks like it is about to give away. The glass is abruptly sharp and has fallen out. This must be abandand because dust is intruding on papers. Children don't dare to enter this shed, incase it comes crashing down with a mighty roar. There once was a brave man who dared to enter. He examined the shed, and found a old fragile man. He was not seen again...
Good vocabulary choices help you to describe what the shed looks like to other people! Well done
As the crooked shed stood alone on the hill, the brisk wind flew through the air like a thrilling falcon. The wind echoed through the encrusted windows like a pack of frustrated lions who had lost their prey. The attracitve pair of unworn shoes sat on the gritty window cill.The boy boldly stepped forward, and entered the abondoned ruin.
The darkness pressed against him like a suffocating blanket. The boy ran upstairs rapidly.There was a statue with saucepan eyes, which looked straight through him. The statues hand was as smooth as glass.He was petrifyed. Suddenly, the boy vanished . . .
fantastic imagery Amber and Emilia! Next time try to use more punctuation for effect!
Thanks Miss Chapman next time will try our hardest to fit in some effective punctuation.
The Devils Shed
The shed swayed violenty in the wind. The tiles pealed of the roof like dead flakey skin. Bart and Bradly stood staring at the spine chiling shed. Bradly was sure he saw a terifying red eyed beast
peering through the window. The doore creeked open and the anxious pair felt like they were being draged in. As they entered, they stoped and herd fut steps comeing towards them. They heard a
little girl singing a lalaby. Sudenly they fell through the floor, they found there self in an abandoned city. The shed calapsed on them
and they were never seen again...
By Ryan and Alex.
Good description and build up. REMEMBER to proof read your work, it is easy to make mistakes when you are typing!
I loved the suspense and the astonishing description! But next time can you include more connectives.
I love your spooky vocabulary it gives a brilliant effect some amazing work Ryan and Alex.
The shed was ancient, sitting alone in the abandoned garden. You could barely see through the dusty and cracked windows. The worn paint looked as if it had been violently scraped of the trembling, rotted wood. You could barely see a pair of brand new shoes ( which wer elumonous pink). Thre was a haze in the suffocating air, that was like a blanket wraped over you. The shed roof was encrusted with rust ( it looked like it was caving in). It was filled with cobwebs and spine chilling spiders. You could see an abandoned house in the reflection of the shed window.
Good use of brackets for additional information. You have also used some good vocabulary too! Make sure you proof read your work, as it is easy to make mistakes when you are typing.
I really liked how you used brackets.But you could use a bit more puncuation.
I liked some of the adjectives you have used it really gives the reader a picture in their head about what the shed is like. I also liked how you used brackets. Next time you should proof read your work for mistakes. This is a good piece writing.
Ellie and Gina wanted to ride on there bikes. Gina saw that they were inside of the dust-incrusted shed. Its windows were smashed,moreover the brickes were shatterd. the hinges on the broken door were bent and ramshacked.Then Ellie decided to peek through the window , Gina was frozen on the spot(her legs trembling with fear)."Dont be such a scaredy cat come inside with me,"whispered Ellie.Gina did not listen to her.Ellie walked inside nerviously.Suddenly,there was a big bang.Gina looked through the rusty windows, but Ellie was nowhere to be seen...
By Ellie and Gina
Good build up, with some interesting vocabulary used. REMEMBER to proof read your work carefully, it is easy to make mistakes when you are typing.
I really like the punctuation and suspence! But some spelling errors
I think that this 100 wc is really good!!! I like how you have included yourselves in it!! You havve really good adjectivves and punctuation!!! Good VCOPP!!!! KEEP IT UP ;)
They heard an eerie sound,
in the shed.
It was 9 o clock,
they had to go to bed.
As the back door closed,
a voice said come in.
The children didnt know,
where it came from.
The girl named Daisy,
she walked up to the shed.
She opened the icy door knob,
to grab her pink shoes.
As she grabbed the shoes,
an icy, damp hand carrest her shoulder.
I really enjoyed Amber's and Emilia's 100wc because I really liked the description of the shed and the suspense at the end.
There's nothing I would change!
Molly i really like your work it is lovely to read through a fantastic poem like this, i think you have tried really hard and don't need to include anythig next time. You have used lots of ajectives, adverds ect. I think you have worked very hard!
I liked Molly Peel's work because it describes the shed and it uses good vocabulary.
I think this is a exellent one hundred word challenge.
I really like your 100wc Molly it is amazing some great, adventrous vocabulary in there next time you should proof read and edit it as it so simple to make spelling mistakes for example: int he corner.
I really like your 100wc Molly it is amazing some great, adventrous vocabulary next time you must proof read and edit it because it is so simple to make typing mistakes for example: int he corner.
We are Year 6 at Brandon Primary School in County Durham. We are using this blog to extend our creative writing skills, and to demonstrate to a wider audience how fabulous we are!