100 word challenge
Molly P and Angel
3/13/2014 09:28:35 pm
3/13/2014 09:43:59 pm
I really like this, you have included humorous details to engage your reader! I wonder what Katie will do next?
3/17/2014 12:50:47 am
I really like your 100 word challenge it is great.
3/17/2014 12:56:49 am
I really like how for your 100 word challenge you have based it on Gansta Granny.You have used some good vocabulary.well done.
4/1/2014 11:15:23 pm
4/1/2014 11:25:45 pm
I really like yout 100 word challenge. You have used very exciting words and i really like that you have used adverbs to start sentences. Also, i like how you have used commas in a list. Great exclamation marks too!
3/13/2014 09:36:07 pm
Yesturday the two 18 year old girls on a holiday to Lanzerote. They set off on a aeroplane at 4:30pm last night. It took 2hours 40mins. They arrived that day and starerd to unpack. Later that day they went the beach, there was a lovely breeze. They started to sunbathe. When they came back to the hotel, Emma was so sandy she decided to go in the bath. Meanwhile Sarah was getting ready to go out. Emma got out of the bath and something mysteriously her eye. She shouted of Sarah to come into the bathroom. But when she lifted the lid there was 1 million pounds...
Beth and Niamh
3/13/2014 09:36:39 pm
The not so great magician
3/13/2014 09:47:01 pm
I like how you have described the passing of time 'yesterday' 'after a few more tricks'. I think this would sound even better if it was a cliff hanger, how else do you think you could end your short story?
3/17/2014 12:55:40 am
Well done I really liked the way you used complex and simple sentences Next time you should end it on a cliff hanger but other than that well done!!
3/17/2014 12:59:11 am
I like how you have used an exclamation mark.Next time you could use some more adjectives to make your writing even better.
3/13/2014 09:42:58 pm
Jamie and Oliver 6DC
3/13/2014 09:43:32 pm
One mysterious day there was a horrific storm. A girl called Amy was staying at her grandmas. Amy's grandma asked her if she could tidy her attic, she didnt want to but her grandma bribed her with sweets. She draged her feet up the steep steps and entered the attic. Suddenly she found herself starring at all the mystical objects in grandma's attic. As she was rumaging through the boxes she discovered a intreging object. Her desire to open it was overwellming but she was very nervous.The box was consumed with dust when dusted it was a metallic silver colour. But when she lifted the lifted the lid...
Brandon and Jack
3/17/2014 07:30:55 pm
Come here! Can you see that flying hawk going around in circles? Look at that white hawk. There was something dropping it was the hawk and landed on Cameron's kneecaps and nearly broke his leg! The hawk flew away as quickly as it could. Cameron wasn't okay. " Are you alright?" No, I'm really hurt. "Please help, Go tell someone." As Ryan got help the hawk came flying and hit Cameron once more." Please get that hawk away now!" "Let's just go home because this terrifying !" Cameron! Can you ride your bike ?" I'll try!
3/18/2014 07:04:15 pm
Well done I really like your story next time you could use more adjectives.
Ryan and Cameron
3/13/2014 09:47:33 pm
One day my mum and I decided to cook an awsome pizza with chocolate and jelly on it. We looked in the cupboard brought down the box with the flour in but whenshe lifted the lid there was nothing in. So I said should we go to the supermarket? Then suddenly everything appeared onthe bench and we started to think how it happpend. This has been a mysterious thing for yearsand years .Mum said "don't tell your freinds". I still have this mysterious secret in our family. By the way the pizza was yummy .
Nathan (Year 6 Tanfield)
4/1/2014 11:41:24 pm
It is good but it would be even better if you did a little bit more . I like how you have used a question and exciting words too. I also like pizza!
Gina, Ellie and Holly
3/13/2014 09:51:06 pm
Ellie, Gina and Holly were in their bedroom when they heard a terrifying scream coming from the garden.The girls ran into the garden.They saw a shadow behind the tree.Suddenly they heard a voice beckoning them to come closer.Then they walked to the tree and saw a girl wearing a white long dress holding a brown, rusty box but when Gina lifted the lid, the girl vanished.Then Holly looked into the window and saw the girl standing in their room.They ran into their room.Holly looked behind her and Ellie and Gina were gone.All that was their was the box...
4/1/2014 11:17:16 pm
Hello Ellie, Gina and Holly. My name is Emma and I real liked that peice of writing. I liked the words like terrifying and beckoning because it makes this story exciting.
Callum Liam and Lewis
3/13/2014 09:51:28 pm
It was a dark hazy night when a girl was travelling to her grans. She was so excited to see her present that she fell of her bike. She quickly got back on her bike and reched her grans house. She rushed into the house and opened the present , it was a doll. Then her gran asked if she would go in the loft to get something. When she was in the loft she saw a rusty ancient box in the corner. She decided to open it but when she lifted the lid she was sucked in and never saw again...
Alicia and Hannah' s 100WC
3/13/2014 09:52:31 pm
Rose went into the kitchen, and asked her mother why no one ever goes into the attic. Her mother told her “the reason it’s that there is something up there long forgotten”
Ryan T and Alex
3/13/2014 10:01:45 pm
Gina and Alex
3/17/2014 12:54:05 am
In a town named Brandon, everything was peaceful.Josh lived with his poor mother in a cottage made of dead grass and soft straw. Josh and his amazing friend (Liam) went picking delicious blackberries.Josh saw something appear, flying through the air."Look up.Can you see it?" Shouted Josh to Liam."I can.what is it?" Shouted Liam back to Josh.Suddenly the flying thing crashed to the ground,making a horrendous explosion.Liam and Josh went to check it out.As they got closer, they realised that the flying thing was a plane.But what could they do?
Callum (tanfield Y6)
4/1/2014 11:38:49 pm
Amazing cliffhanger I loved it. You have used your queston? mark in the right way which is very good.
3/17/2014 12:54:17 am
I Liked your 100c I also liked how you used ellipcies I want to read more.
Ellie and Holly
3/17/2014 01:01:13 am
One magnificent sunny morning,Holly came up with a mischievous idea to go bird hunting. Ellie agreed to this. The two girls rapidly ran down stairs,got there rifles and set of into the woods.The ground was dry and clean.Ellie spotted a crow flying in the blue placid sky.Suddenly Ellie got her hazardous rifle out.BANG! the crow fell to the ground. They ran over but there was nothing to be seen. What had taken it? A while after holly heard rustling in the bushes.Then a pebble dropped onto Ellie's head."look up!can you see that?" Exclaimed Holly...
Lucy H 6T
4/1/2014 11:13:32 pm
Irealy enjoyed your 100 word challange! You have used some nice openers and connectivs! I like how in the end you have used ellipsus! P.S. Carnt wait till tommoro for the sleepover
Leah P (Tanfield)
4/1/2014 11:17:00 pm
Wow Ellie and Holly! I love your use of adjectives. Your ideas are amazing! How did you come up with bird hunting? I would never would have thought of it in a million years despite it not being very adventurous as some other ideas. Also, I love your use of ecplices, you left me wanting more.. ;) Can't wait for the sleepover.
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